Uncle Vernon's Trip to Hogwarts
by xRainbowxVeins09
Summary: What would hapen if Uncle Vernon ever snuck into Hogwarts? R&R! I wrote this a few years ago, so it's a little silly.


Uncle Vernon's Trip to Hogwarts

During the summer, Uncle Vernon was curious about the school that his nephew, Harry, attended. When it was September, Harry was outside raking leaves and Uncle Vernon went upstairs into Harry's room and looked through his stuff. He found all of his Gryffindor clothes and decided to try them on. He thought he looked pretty in the Gryffindor colors, but they didn't fit him. He all of a sudden had an idea. He would follow Harry to Hogwarts next week!! When Vernon found the Invisibility Cloak, he decided to keep it, due to his being a Muggle at Hogwarts. He heard Harry coming up the stairs when he was looking at the wand. Vernon heard Harry step on the creaky floorboard just outside of his door. He stuffed all of Harry's Hogwarts things into his closet and ran into his own room and took out Aunt Petunia's sewing machine and made his own uniform.

When he was finished, Vernon went outside and got a twig from the ground to use as a wand. When Uncle Vernon was trying to figure out how he would follow Harry to Hogwarts, he suddenly thought of the Invisibility Cloak. The day Harry left for school, Vernon told Petunia that he was going on a business trip/vacation. When they got to the train station, Vernon dropped off Harry near Platform 9 ¾. Soon, he ran back to his car and put on a Gryffindor uniform and the Invisibility Cloak and ran back to Harry. He saw Harry and his friends disappear into the wall, and Vernon could not believe his eyes. He tried to follow them and, surprisingly, he got through! He followed Harry into the compartment where Ron and Hermione were waiting for him (meaning Harry). All of a sudden, Viktor Krum walked through the compartment door! "That's the bloody bloke who ate my bagel!" whispered Uncle Vernon, to no one unparticular. "Did you say something, Ron? Something about a bagel?" asked Krum. "N-no," staggered Ron, trying not to be too afraid.

It was a two hour ride to Hogwarts. When they all got off the train Hagrid was there waiting for them. _That's the man who broke my rifle and shot a hole through my roof!_ Thought Uncle Vernon, with a mad face. He was about to explode with anger at his surrounding enemies, Krum and Hagrid. He was also about to faint when he saw the size of Hagrid. Then, he followed Harry and the rest to the Gryffindor table inside of the Great Hall. When the Sorting Hat came out and started talking, Uncle Vernon finally fainted. The next thing he knew, the feast was beginning. When no one was looking, Vernon shoved a plate of mashed potatoes, chicken, peas, and sweets underneath the cloak. He shoved the sweets inside of this pocket for Dudley, his pig-of-a-son. Then, he ate his own dinner.

When they were done, the students went to bed. He followed Harry into the room and slept on the floor beside his bed. The next morning, Uncle Vernon followed Harry and Ron into the Great Hall for breakfast. There, he ate pancakes, sausage, and juice. When he saw the pastries, he stuffed about 10 of them into the bag he was carrying. When he saw Dumbledore, he thought_ That's the crackpot old fool who's teaching him magic tricks!!_

Uncle Vernon followed Harry into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and saw none other than Gilderoy Lockhart himself. When everyone was seated, Lockhart passed out tests. Surprisingly, Lockhart gave a test to the empty seat next to Harry, so Vernon sat down and read the questions:

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?

Uncle Vernon answered Pink, due to the robes Lockhart was wearing.

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

Vernon didn't know what to put, so he looked over at Hermione's paper, which said 'to rid the world of evil.' He put down that answer.

What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

Vernon decided to put down: 'his books'

On and on the test went, up until question 54.

54) When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what is his ideal gift?

Uncle Vernon wrote down: Valentine's Day. His ideal gift is perfume.

Soon, the test was over. "Only Miss Granger and this empty chair got 100's!!! Everyone else got an F. But, Mr. Potter got a B+. Hooray for them!" cheered Lockhart. When everyone left, Krum was outside of the door, eating a bagel. Uncle Vernon got outraged and attacked him! The Invisibility Cloak flew off, and Dumbledore was standing right there! Everyone saw that there was a Muggle at Hogwarts! Everyone screamed and ran around, including Harry and Ron, who both screamed like girls! "It'll be okay, Ronald. It's going to be alright!" cooed Harry, holding Ron's hand. Snape caught Uncle Vernon and locked him up in Azkaban. Uncle Vernon broke out the next day and ran home to Dudley and Petunia. The End.


End file.
